Do Not Punish Dr. Love

Professionalism class was so “helpful,” it didn’t just teach me just one thing. No, it taught me two things.

I already wrote about my first lesson. (You can read about it here. It is a must-read if you wanna get ahead in life.)

So today, I’ll tell you about my second lesson. Actually, my “big” (which is basically a mentor from the class before mine) gave me a spoiler. He said:

As doctors, we are not supposed to sleep with or even date our patients.

As a fresh-faced, first-year medical student, I was shocked and a bit disappointed. “What do you mean?” I asked.

“It’s true. We can’t do that.”

By now, my dream of being Dr. Don Juan was dashed into a million little pieces. I imagined sitting across a cute female-patient and saying …

“Your treatment is to take me out on a date.” (In true pick-up artist style, you always get the other girl to pay first.)

“Are you sure, doctor?” she would ask innocently.

And through my wit and captivating charms, I would reply, “Trust me. I’m a doctor.”

She would then swoon. A shooting star would fly across the night sky. And all would be right in the world.

But now, this would never happen because …

As doctors, we are not supposed to sleep with or even date our patients.

And to prove that my big bro wasn’t joking, I learned about the same things in professionalism class. Ugh!

Basically, there are three things that would cause the state’s medical licensing board to take away your license:

  1. Sex
  2. Drugs
  3. Rock ‘n’ Roll

Alright, maybe not rock ‘n’ roll. That’s still kosher. Just replace it with “bad medicine.”

Why I Would Not Date My Patients, Even if I Could

After a moment to think things through with by anatomically superior head (instead of my inferior one), I would not sleep with my patients, even if I could.

Why?

Because mixing business with pleasures does not mean you’ll get both money and love. You’ll get nothing instead.

When I was in college, I was in a very confused state when it came to girls. I would have girl friends, but not girlfriends. But I would sleep over their places and do what people in a relationship do.

(Looking at myself currently, I am still in a very confused state. It is always girl friends, and never girlfriends. I prefer it that way.)

Well anyways, I lent money to one of my girl friends. I think when I gave her the money, I rationalized it by saying that the money is a loan. But deep down, I knew I would never see the money again. The girl was hot (and she later went on to become an international model). And you know that hot girls get free things all the time, right? So why would they be responsible with their promise and return my money to me?

The only time I’ve ever mentioned about wanting my money back was when I got mad at her. She could tell I was mad and asked me, “Are you mad at me?”

I told her, “Yeah. Give me time to cool off.”

She never did mention anything about returning my money. Well, long story short … To this day, I did not get my money back and the girl is out of my life.

You see? No money from her. No love from her. That is why I do not mix business with pleasure.

If any of my girl friends ask to borrow money from me, I either say no or I give it to them as a gift … not as a loan. My guy friends also get the same treatment.

The other day, I watched a documentary about Thai brothels. Don’t ask me why. It was on Netflix and I was curious. That’s always a recipe to enlightenment.

When the filmmaker asked the brothel managers if they ever “sampled” the goods, they replied (and I’m paraphrasing because I did not write down the exact words) … “Never. The girl would then get confused and would not do her job. She wouldn’t be any good and we’ll have to get rid of her.”

I’m sure some of them tried at one point or another, only to find out that you cannot mix business with pleasure. You have to choose one or the other. You cannot have both.

Now that you know where I stand regarding sleeping or dating patients, I am still against the punishing of Dr. Love.

Why the Medical Licensing Board Is Wrong

If professional class taught us that we should not have a romantic or sexual relationship with our patients, I would agree.

But instead, it taught us that we could not — at the threat of losing our medical license.

Now I really do not believe in that. Why is the licensing board being the Orwellian Big Brother? We already got enough of that through the US federal government and the state government.

I don’t need a group of doctors, lawyers, and whoever else on the board to tell me how to live my life.

I agree with the other two ways of losing your license. As doctors, we should not enable the abuse of controlled substances. And we should not kill people with our medicine.

But regarding relationships and sex, that is none of the board’s concern. The only parties concerned are the two grown adults. No laws are being broken. And if there was coercion, rape, or sexual harassment, the legal system can more than taken care of the situation.

Frankly, controlling doctors over non-medical matters through threat is an abuse of power. Because the board could take away the doctor’s right to practice medicine (and effectively reduce his income), not many people are willing to fight over this.

From what I have heard, less than 1% of all doctors in NJ lose their license every year. There were a little more than 34,000 doctors. So let’s say 300 doctors lose their license every year. That is about the size of 2 or 3 medical school classes. There are currently 4 medical schools in NJ that I know of. Let’s assume each school has about 100 medical students per year. Now imagine that after finishing 4 years of medical school and at least 3 years of residency, you only have a 25% chance of practicing medicine — because 300 out of the 400 new doctors will lose their license. That is outrageous and is essentially what is happening when 300 doctors lose their license every year. All their hard work went down the drain, just because a group of people deemed it so.

But there is hope for the little guy. One way of dealing with a bully is to enlist the aid of a bigger bully. If I ever have to meet in person with the licensing board, I will be damn sure to bring my own lawyer. If they take away my license, I will take them to court.

No one is untouchable.

For more medical school stories, visit the About Alex section and look for “Blast from the Past (Stories of My Medical School Days).”

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