In Times of Need, You Can Count on the Doctor … to Run Away

You would imagine that nothing fazes a doctor. He experienced much and has seen the worst. So imagine my surprise when a doctor disregarded the safety of the class and fled the room to save his life.

Alright, lemme start from the beginning …

It Was a Cold and Stormy Night Warm and Sunny Day …

I was stuck in another sleep-inducing class, during my second year of medical school. The smart thing to do was to bounce the heck out. It was still early in the school year, so I did not yet wise up. (To protect the identity of this doctor, I’m not going to tell you which class.)

But I certainly was not paying attention to the mind-numbingly boring lecture — it was probably about something as dry as cytokines, hormones, receptors, or some other yawn-inducing crap topic. Whenever I’m not paying attention in class (which is about 80% of the time), I do what a normal person would do: surf the web, create the most awesome website in the world, or doze off.

For some reason, the person next to me kept moving the table. Not once, but twice. It was seriously bothering me. I looked over to my left. I was prepared to give her the evil eye.

I was waiting for her to do something. But … she wasn’t doing anything.

The table shook again. And that was when it hit me.

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………

…………

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This is an … EARTHQUAKE!

I’ve never been in an earthquake before. But I’m in one now! How cool is that! So I walked out of the classroom and took a look out the window. All I see is clear-blue skies, tiny trees, and a parking lot full of cars. There were no cracks in the ground. No flames. No Godzilla. No big, alien starships. No fun. And sadly, I didn’t see or feel any shaking. So I walked back into the room with disappointment.

But get this … The professor (who is also a doctor) was nowhere to be found! It seems like between the time I left and came back to the classroom, the big, tall, male professor exited the building. Elvis has left the building. Except the doctor’s name isn’t Elvis.

I asked my classmate (the same one that I was prepared to give the evil eye to) what has happened. Why did the lecture stop? She said that the professor stopped talking and ran out of the room. He did not say where he was going. He did not even say another word. He just bolted straight towards the door. My class was left in a state of confusion, wondering what the heck happened.

I was surprised. The quake was really brief — probably lasting for only 1 or 2 seconds. It was not that strong either. The building did not split in half. Computers were not falling off the table. The ceiling was not crumbling.

I was seriously second guessing if I did experience an earthquake or not.

Suddenly, there was suddenly an announcement for everyone to evacuate the building. My classmates and I calmly gathered our belongings and walked out.

Once outside, we met up with the professor. And he justified his actions by saying he was in an earthquake before. Uh-huh. Ok. So that is why he ran out of the building like a little sissy. (I wanted to write “like a little girl,” but I think little girls have more courage than he did.)

Glad to know that in truly dire moments, like a real major earthquake, I can count on him … to run out!

News Travel Fast in High School Medical School

Well, news like this did spread. And by the next day, everyone knew what happened. The doctor got himself a new reputation.

It was kinda like how everyone knew that I got chewed out by an OB/GYN resident. The resident said she made me cry — and she was proud of it. I denied that I cried. Maybe I teared up just a little, but I certainly didn’t cry. Hey, I’m sensitive … ok?

Don’t believe me? Whatever. Or as they say in Guatemala — guatever.

Medical school is seriously like high school. Everyone knew everyone else’s business. If you ever want to make a medical school drama, just grab any medical student and ask her to tell you some juicy gossip.

Who hates whom.

Who did what to whom.

Who is sleeping with whom.

Who ran out of an earthquake shrieking like a little girl sissy.

You’ll have all the ideas you can ever work with.

For more medical school stories, visit the About Alex section and look for “Blast from the Past (Stories of My Medical School Days).”

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