Med School Hell – All About The Benjamins

This post is raw and holds nothing back. If you’re uncomfortable with vulgar language, please turn back.

December 28, 2005
By: Hoover

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Based on comments from my OB/GYN post, some people believe that I “wasted a spot” in medical school. Yeah, I’ve heard it before – even from some of my classmates. These are the gunners that I routinely piss off by surfing the Halo2 forums while they’re looking up the next article that they can bring in for the team.

Let’s break it down this way – it’s all about the money. I’m finishing school and getting my M.D. for the coin and perks. Plain and simple. As a matter of fact, I love the “so what are you going into” question that I get from residents and attendings whenever I start a new rotation. Most students cringe at this question, hoping that the overworked surgery resident that’s inquiring about your future isn’t going to get pissed and hold it against you if you tell them radiology. I used to tell them “business”, but they would get all smart-ass and probe deeper into my choice. “What kind of business?” “You went to medical school so you can work in business?” “Wow, I can’t believe you did this so you can work in business.” I now respond with something like: “well, I thought about [whatever rotation you’re on at the time], but I’ve ultimately decided on utilizing my MBA along with my MD to see how much money I can make. In fact, I’ve already accepted a position with a very competitive salary.” That usually catches them off guard and they typically shut the fuck up about your insane choice to make the most money possible.

Obviously physicians should be compensated. It really chaps my ass to see residents, and especially medical students avoid the money issue. Of course you’re doing this for the money – just admit it. If a law was suddenly passed that capped all physician salaries at $40k per year, how many of your class would be left? Would you stick around? See, that’s my point. Whether you want to admit it or not, money is the driving force. So be proud – you should be compensated for the hell you’ve had to put up with throughout medical school and residency as well as the continued hell of just being a physician once you finish training. Gloat about it, drive the most expensive cars, spend cash like it’s going out of style. Fuck anybody who says you shouldn’t talk about the money. If you’re the type who wants to save the world and volunteer 100% of your time in some free clinic in podunkville, go for it – just stfu about those who want the bling.

Some residents and attendings applaud my choice to do something else other than clinical medicine. These people “get it.” There are more unhappy physicians out there than you realize. Actually, I was quite surprised to see the number of physicians that told me they wished they had done something other than clinical medicine with their M.D. These people have already realized that weekend rounding and pager games with the hospital just isn’t what it used to be.

The ones that get pissed off are those that are hating life because they didn’t have the balls to step up and get out when they had a chance. They’re now forced to the slavery of call schedules, pagers, and 2am phone calls and they don’t like it. The only way to make them feel better about themselves is to belittle others that make unconventional choices – and the med student is an easy target. Why else would they give two shits about what I’m going into? Are they worried that I’m going to have a better life and make more money than they are? This latter group of residents and attendings are the fun ones to piss off. Sure, it reflects in my evaluation but I could care less. Fuck selling out just to please some asshole resident.

C=MD

Are you convinced to leave medicine? If so, you may feel like you are alone. You may feel clueless about what to do next. However, quitting medicine could turn out better than you have ever thought possible. And here is why you should get out …

This article is part of Hoover’s Med School Hell series. Med School Hell reveals the crazy truth about the crappiness of the US medical education and healthcare system … while making you laugh so hard, you’ll crap in your pants.

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