This post is raw and holds nothing back. If you’re uncomfortable with vulgar language, please turn back.
March 14, 2007
You’re pissed off at an attending surgeon in the OR. Which, frankly, could be all the time. To heck with a potential illustrious career in medicine, time to get even! Some possibilities*:
- Secretly deglove and hand the surgeon a retractor with your bare hand. Mention that your hands were uncomfortable since they don’t stock an 8.375 glove size.
- Walk into the OR while eating a piece of fried chicken. You had no breakfast, and it’s lunchtime, so you have a right to eat. Be firm.
- Remove your facemask and accidently sneeze/cough/spit on the surgeon’s hands right after he gloves.
- Unplug the bovie machine when the surgeon least expects it. Laugh and tell him to lighten up…you’re just foolin’.
- Descrub during an important part of an afternoon surgery, and tell the surgeon you just remembered your dog needs his midday doggie treat.
- While the surgeon is putting on scrubs, remove your gloves and try to touch everything that is sterile.
- During the surgery, push on the instrument table lever so it falls. The louder, the better. Chuckle as the scrub tech tries to reassemble everything that’s still sterile.
*This is satire, for all of you easily offended people. Keeping a patient sterile and safe during surgery is of the utmost importance.
(Unless it was a patient who was also a surgeon.)
Are you convinced to leave medicine? If so, you may feel like you are alone. You may feel clueless about what to do next. However, quitting medicine could turn out better than you have ever thought possible. And here is why you should get out …
This article is part of Hoover’s Med School Hell series. Med School Hell reveals the crazy truth about the crappiness of the US medical education and healthcare system … while making you laugh so hard, you’ll crap in your pants.