Med School Hell – You’re A Secretary

This post is raw and holds nothing back. If you’re uncomfortable with vulgar language, please turn back.

January 11, 2006
By: Hoover


How many of you guys have “student coordinators” at your medical school that are responsible for running the day-to-day operations of any given medical student rotation? I’m not talking about the program director that is responsible for organizing the rotation curriculum, but rather the person who photocopies call schedules and makes sure that you show up to the “required” lectures.

I know you’re aware of who I’m talking about, so I’ll just get to the point. These are the people who show up to the rotation orientation and hand out informational packets with details of the 5 papers you’re supposed to write and frequently send out emails updating you on any change in the lecture schedule. They go above and beyond the required job description, probably to “exceed expectations” on the job to better their chances of that 3% raise next year.

They are all too frequently “over involved” and spout out rules and regulations of the rotation as if they’re some national law. They require you to write down your contact information so that they can find you at any time. If you’re late to a lecture, they will find you by sending numerous pages and blowing up your cell phone until the battery dies.

I once had one of these student coordinators say to the rotation group one bright and early orientation day: “now you know you must take call every fourth night.” What the hell is that? You’re a secretary for Christ’s sake. You’ve never taken a night of call in your entire life. You spend your day pecking away at meaningless emails while I’m playing scut monkey for 14 hours. You work 9-5, Monday through Friday and sleep in over the weekend while I come in to round.

My point is that you’re a secretary. They don’t pay you enough to tell us when to take call or be at lecture. That information is in that packet that you just gave me and I can read, thanks. Step in my shoes for a day – I’ll be sure to wake your ass up at 2am to watch me do an H&P. I might even send you down for my coffee as an added, but free, bonus.

Oh, and before I forget: Happy Secretary’s Day. I’ll be sure to send a nice warm basket of “fuck you” to show my appreciation for your innate ability to track me down.

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This article is part of Hoover’s Med School Hell series. Med School Hell reveals the crazy truth about the crappiness of the US medical education and healthcare system … while making you laugh so hard, you’ll crap in your pants.

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